8-8-2020

I don’t have money for a posting site so this is the only way I can get my story out.

Writing this is one of the hardest things I will ever have to do. As I write, keep in mind that I will be emotional and the demons from my past will come back to haunt me. So please excuse the shattered mind of this individual. I was in an abusive relationship for nine years. My ex would yell at me daily, she would throw items and find ways to hurt me all the time. Apples, Xbox controllers, glasses, and even her wedding ring. Spring 2018 she punched me in the car while she was driving five times. I had a six and three-year-old in the back seat. I looked back to see the horror in my son’s faces as this was happening and the assault continued. She started to drive off the road and I could feel the side of the road under the tires. I managed to get her to stop punching me and focus on the road again by yelling some sense into her. “We are going to crash focus on the road.”  She stopped and started to drive. I told her “ Never do that again or I will divorce you.” Maybe I should have called the cops but what would I do with two kids and one paycheck. I was hoping she would get the point but in August 2018 we got into another fight. She wanted to go to the beach however the house was disgusting. She had left vegetables in bags around the house. I have been trying to keep the house clean by myself. I did the dishes, clean the house, did the laundry, took care of whatever I could while she sat and did nothing all the time. So we got into a fight. “We have to clean the house,” I said to her. She didn’t listen, she wanted to do what she wanted and she didn’t care. She was a hoarder. I was afraid that DSS or child services would be called and by right I should have called them but I didn’t want to never see the kids again. I loved them with all my heart, always have and always will. She went outside and cried because she couldn’t get what she wanted. I meanwhile was getting a trash bag and in my son’s playroom they had so many toys that the week before I was worried I could not get to them if they were on the other side of the 10 foot room and I couldn’t. I had to push the toys to make a path. She did not care nor did she care for a rational reason. I started to put toys in a bag while my oldest yelled at my saying I was going to throw his toys away. I have threatened him with that many times but he could not see the value of having a clean house. How could he? He was six and his mother had taught him that cleaning didn’t matter. I was not going to throw them away but I had put it in his mind that I was and Robby “I am sorry for that.” He ran to his mother and she came up the stairs and started to yell at me. I tried to explain to her what I was doing and that was putting the toys in a bag and sorting them out later but she did not care. After I saw I could not get through to her I walked away. By this time I was very sick from the argument which she did every day to me and no one cared. I walked towards the stairs and as I was at the top she tried pushing me down the stairs and she was getting closer. I ran to the kitchen where I thought it was safe. It wasn’t. There she continued to fight with me. She then decided to punch me in the face. I looked at her wondering how stupid she really was and before I could say anything she punched me again. This time her hand was near the knife set and she was looking at it. At this point when you ask her, she will either say this never happened and I am crazy or I lied about the whole thing but the pain was real I could never forget. I pushed her arm down but because she has bilateral clubfeet she lost her balance and fell. I fought with her and told her it was over. This time I did not care if I had the money I was not getting bet every day. I was done and had enough of this life. I was sick of living in a dirty house and I was a custodian for three years. How could I live like this? How could I let my kids? How could one girl have so much power over me? No, No more. I will make my own way. She took the kids and that was it now I had to find a way to live. I went to the store for smokes and when I came back the police were there and I told them my story. They listen and in my opinion, they did the best they could for me. Throughout my life, I was never given help because no one taught me and I didn’t know who to talk to because no one cared, not even DSS or Child services. I could not explain all of this in words because as you can see there is so much for me to say and I was never given the time to be heard out but I should have written my story instead.